Last night I read that seventh birthdays are notable because they are full of milestones. A blog said parents of seven-year-olds sense their children are leaving behind early their early childhood years and becoming more independent; it said having independence from family is more and more important for a seven-year-old.
I remember the first time Kyan turned seven. I guess maybe not the exact day or party or that sort of thing, but I remember moments. He was a spinning top in the best way possible – most of the time – he was, afterall, seven. I’m sure part of his busyness was about independence. I probably couldn’t keep up! Fig, our cat, always stopped him in his tracks, especially when she was sleeping. He would bury his face the circle of white, black, and brown fur and snuggle until she refused to tolerate it for a moment longer.
Last night, the 19-year-old man that he is came downstairs to talk about an email he had just received from his college. We drop him off Sunday. He slouched onto the couch, face snuggled into the cat just like he used to when he was little. “Tomorrow is your seventh birthday – do you want a cake?” I asked. He shook his head. “…A pie?” He shook his head. “I don’t want it to be a big deal,” he said.
I didn’t bother to try to convince him it was a big deal. If a seven-year-old is meant to become more independent, a 19-year-old wants nothing more than to be entirely independent. It’s been a summer of deep breaths. I still want him in bubble wrap; he doesn’t that same desire. I swallowed hard when he told me a few weeks ago that he wanted to join the Corps at college, but then spent time researching the ‘bests’ on the seven-page supply list that includes everything from white socks of a certain length to an alarm clock without a radio. I made sure he has the lightest full-sized ironing board (because I remain convinced he’ll have to run with it, despite no evidence to suggest that is the case), the iron that steams things fastest (because I’ve decided they’ll time how quickly he can iron his shirts, despite no evidence to suggest that is the case), and document holders that are just the right size (I think there was a typo and they needed 8×11.5 document holders, but I found the 8×12 they listed). If it’s going to be hard, I want him to be as prepared for the hard as he can be. That’s how we have faced many challenges – and it’s turned out amazingly well so far.
The seventh anniversary of Kyan’s transplant is a big deal, perhaps because it isn’t a big deal. He’s 19 and headed to college. I suspect Kyan doesn’t want to look back because there’s so much to look forward to – and I’d be wise to take a page from that book.
Happy seventh birthday, Cappy! I hope it’s the least remarkable thing that happens to you this year.